Today’s leaders require more than experience, business savvy, IQ and technical skills to be successful. Self- awareness, self-regulation, adaptability and the ability to relate well with others are all qualities that make up emotional intelligence, or EQ — an important skill set to master for anyone interested in leadership development.
Daniel Goleman, popular author on EQ, says that “as a leader moves up in an organization, up to 90 percent of their success lies in emotional intelligence.”
If you work for a high-EQ leader, you have a wonderful example to learn from (and likely you are a highly satisfied worker). Emotionally intelligent leaders get more out of their people (yes, this is bottom-line stuff!) They help us see and develop our “greatness” and potential. So what do emotionally intelligent leaders look like?
- Self-aware. They understand their emotional patterns and response tendencies when interacting with others. They know themselves well (their emotional hooks and triggers) and are capable of consciously observing themselves in the middle of high stress or challenge. This enables them to make positive behavioral choices versus typical knee-jerk reactions that may hinder relationship goals. They understand how their emotions and reactions translate to others (smiles, confidence and positive energy are contagious) and are able to adjust their reactions accordingly and appropriately.
- Adaptive and “tuned in” to their people. The most effective leaders are resilient, with a wide tolerance for different personalities. They adapt their management style to the situation and people involved. They aren’t self-absorbed; on the contrary, they are empathetic. They pay attention to the non-verbal “cues” and “moods” of their people. For example, they recognize when their team has reached its capacity to effectively absorb any more and respond by setting a slower pace.
- Know how to capture our hearts and emotions. They bring out the best in us by helping us identify our undiscovered strengths and talents. They inspire self-confidence and high performance in others. They pay attention and acknowledge what matters to their people (like work/life balance). Because they truly value their people, they communicate congruently and convey that they genuinely care.
- Focus on the positive while staying in touch with reality. They help others see the opportunities in the muck. We want to give our best to leaders who display confidence, positive energy and faith in our abilities. A word of caution here: leaders with “rose-colored glasses” will not be trusted for long (Pollyanna was just too good to be true). While we want positive leaders, we also want them to be grounded in reality and to understand the pitfalls and challenges of the task at hand.
- Inspire trust. They create harmonious workplaces by helping people connect with each other. They are approachable and listen well. They inspire collaboration and commitment (when feasible) with a participative management style — gaining input from their team before initiating change. They value input from others and are adaptive versus “it’s my way or the highway.”
- Are emotionally available. They are in tune with their own emotions (informed but not ruled by their feelings). By the way, those who hide (or are unaware of) their emotions can be perceived as aloof, uncaring and out of touch. If people can’t read you, they typically create their own labels or stories about what is really going on with you. Don’t be afraid to demonstrate you are human (what you are feeling) or that you care about your people.
- Keep their composure during a storm. They can maintain calm and self-control even during times of high stress. They self-regulate and can recover quickly from mistakes and relationship challenges. They are in charge of when and how they express their emotions and express them appropriately.
Research suggests most leaders tend to overestimate their emotional intelligence abilities. It’s lonely at the top. The more senior your position, the less likely that you are getting honest, critical feedback on your capacities in the EQ area.
One tool that can help identify how other people in the organization view your EQ is 360-degree feedback.
Invest in yourself by hiring me as your coach! I can help you learn, develop and grow your leadership and emotional intelligence abilities. I coach leaders all over the world via Skype. Call me: 360 682 5807 or email: email@example.com